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Fic: Trust (CSI:Miami/Matrix, Ryan Wolfe/Eric Delko, Tim Speedle/Horatio Caine)
Title: Trust
Fandom: CSI: Miami, Matrix
Warnings: Crossover, AU
Pairing: Speed/H (surprise, surprise!), Ryan/Eric
Rating: FRT-13
Disclaimer: Both CSI: Miami and Matrix aren’t mine.
Summary: How do you know you can trust someone?
Author’s Notes: Inspired by one of Ginny’s and my chats about “Bunnies. Are. Viruses.” Suddenly little bunnies with sunglasses jumped at me. Feedback very much appreciated.
***
They were fighting for the existence of all humankind, and Timothy Speedle, Mr. Speedle for the machines and programs that were hunting him, Speed for his fellow rebels and his friends, and Tim to only his lover, knew this since the fateful day when Megan had offered him a red and a blue pill.
He had decided to fight, and he stood by this decision. He only regretted it when he thought about his lover.
All they had together were a few stolen moments, and that couldn’t be changed. Being inside the Matrix was highly dangerous for Speed, but it was the only place where they could meet face to face and where they could touch each other.
Speed always carried a piece of his lover with him – something he had been given after a night of passion, and something that would make sure that he wouldn’t be left alone if the programs that were after him discovered their relationship and killed his lover.
His lover had nothing similar of him. He said he didn’t need it, and that his memories were enough. If Speed would die, he would be dead for good, and nothing would bring him back, not even a token of his love. Speed didn’t know what to make out of that declaration. In his darkest hours, he feared and suspected that it was the confession that his love wasn’t mutual.
This love was an eternal struggle, and Speed knew that he couldn’t tell anybody about it. It was the forbidden fruit, his dark secret, and it was too dangerous to tell even the most trustworthy people. By all means, he should break up this strange relationship, especially after Megan had been killed by the machines.
With the loss of Megan, Speed had become the captain of the Ptolemy, one of the few ships the rebels had. Megan had been killed because of The Traitor, Rick, when she had been in the Matrix, and only sheer luck had prevented that they lost anybody else that fateful night. Ryan had been able to stop and kill Rick before he could do more harm; his courage and determination had saved all their lives. The price he had to pay – his right eye – seemed small, compared to that.
Speed smiled softly and made his way through the ship. He stopped to watch the youngest member of his crew, sleeping peacefully in his bunk. He was dressed in the same rags they all wore, and he looked impossibly small and fragile, relaxed in his sleep, with his eyes closed and his muscles relaxed.
Ryan usually wore a patch over his eye that Eric had made for him, but not when he was sleeping, wrapped up in Eric’s strong arms and their thin blankets.
Same-sex relationships were frowned upon in Zion, the hidden city of the rebels. They always needed more people to continue the fight, and the birth of every single child was a good reason to celebrate. Their children were kept hidden deep within the core of Earth, protected by heavily armed guards, until they were considered old enough to go out and risk their lives for the city.
Carefully Speed reached out and pulled the blankets back up to Ryan’s and Eric’s shoulders. They would return to Zion soon, and then the hiding would begin again, at least for these two. Eric would probably meet with Natalia, the mother of his two children, at least if the ship she was on returned as well and if she had survived the last few months; Ryan would be miserable about it; Alexx would spend the time with her husband and her own children – and he? Speed shook his head. He already knew what he would do: He would probably visit Maxine, suffer from horrible nightmares or unbearable insomnia, and after a few days, he would feel like a tiger in a cage, barely able to await the day they would leave Zion again to go back out here, back in the Matrix.
They were a virus; they were sabotaging the Matrix. They knew no rest, no pity, because their enemies were computers, machines and programs who were ruthless in their pursuit of the rebels and who knew no rest and no pity, as well. They were struggling to stay a step ahead of the machines, and every break, every holiday, every day they didn’t spend out here the machines would get even closer to them.
They justified their, sometimes violent, attacks with the fact that machines didn’t feel – they didn’t think for themselves, they were simply programmed to act the way they did.
But Speed didn’t believe so. He knew that some of the more sophisticated programs had developed traits of personality. He once met one program that had “felt” disgust when confronted with humans, which made it perfect to work in a public library. He hadn’t known back then that the librarian was nothing more than a program, but he wasn’t surprised when he found out.
A quick check of the instruments revealed no immediate danger to the ship and its crew, and Speed went back to watch his sleeping friends.
There weren’t many left: it was just Eric, Ryan, Alex and he himself, but then, the Ptolemy was a small ship, and there wasn’t enough room for more than six people, anyways.
Speed sighed softly. He was tired, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, even if his eyes were gritty and the screens in front of them were nothing but a flickering blur.
His thoughts returned to his lover, and the risk he was taking every time when he entered the Matrix. But he needed to see his lover, again and again, or the pressure on his ribcage would become too much and suffocate him. He needed it like the air he was breathing; he craved it like a drug.
Unconsciously, his fingertips glided over the chain around his neck and to the small disc dangling from it. It was all he had from his lover. It was not enough and almost too much.
He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his temples. He needed to sleep. He needed to get laid. He needed to relax. He needed to be held. He needed pale fingers on his aching flesh.
He needed his lover.
He was tired.
A slender hand was placed on his shoulder. Speed forced a smile on his face when he looked up. Alexx had wrapped one arm around herself protectively, as if she was freezing, although it was warm in the ship. The other hand was extended to his shoulder, grounding him with its warmth.
“Honey, you need to sleep,” she said softly.
Speed grimaced. “I can’t.” Wistfully he looked over to Eric and Ryan. He would give so much to be with his lover now –
He didn’t realize he had spoken out loud until Alexx snorted. “Why don’t you go, then? I’ll watch them for you.”
He frowned at her. “What?”
She shrugged. “We know you, sweetie. I know you. Just – promise me to be careful. If you let anyone know about us and my kids get hurt…”
She didn’t need to complete the sentence. Speed smiled softly. “I know,” he said.
“Go.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
He kissed her forehead before he sat down and allowed himself to be plugged into the Matrix.
When he looked down at himself, he wasn’t wearing the rough linen clothes anymore – he was dressed in jeans and a blue shirt. It was perfect.
He gave the cute subroutine program with the long blonde hair and the friendly smile – her name was Calleigh – a smile when entering the apartment. She nodded, and he proceeded right into the bedroom, where his lover already awaited him with an unreadable smile.
It was always dangerous, Speed thought afterwards, when they were snuggled up between tangled sheets and Horatio’s strong arms were wrapped around him, and Horatio whispered “I love you” into his hair. He wanted to feel safe; he wanted to close his eyes and drift to sleep, secure in the knowledge that their love was mutual and that Horatio would protect him, but a small hard kernel of doubt always stayed: machines and programs were dangerous, you couldn’t trust them, everybody could betray him – his thoughts drifted back to Calleigh – machines and programs couldn’t be trusted, because they didn’t feel. They only did what their programming told them to do, and they were dangerous because they were programmed to betray humanity.
Horatio murmured softly and kissed him again. His lips were warm and soft, and Speed sighed and closed his eyes. He wanted to trust Horatio, because that was what a relationship was supposedly about, even if Horatio was nothing more than a program. A virus, in his own way, like the human rebels were, at least he claimed so.
And so Timothy Speedle almost desperately clung to the belief that Horatio was sophisticated enough to develop his own thoughts – and feelings.
And with these thoughts, he finally drifted to sleep.
The End.
Title: Trust
Fandom: CSI: Miami, Matrix
Warnings: Crossover, AU
Pairing: Speed/H (surprise, surprise!), Ryan/Eric
Rating: FRT-13
Disclaimer: Both CSI: Miami and Matrix aren’t mine.
Summary: How do you know you can trust someone?
Author’s Notes: Inspired by one of Ginny’s and my chats about “Bunnies. Are. Viruses.” Suddenly little bunnies with sunglasses jumped at me. Feedback very much appreciated.
***
They were fighting for the existence of all humankind, and Timothy Speedle, Mr. Speedle for the machines and programs that were hunting him, Speed for his fellow rebels and his friends, and Tim to only his lover, knew this since the fateful day when Megan had offered him a red and a blue pill.
He had decided to fight, and he stood by this decision. He only regretted it when he thought about his lover.
All they had together were a few stolen moments, and that couldn’t be changed. Being inside the Matrix was highly dangerous for Speed, but it was the only place where they could meet face to face and where they could touch each other.
Speed always carried a piece of his lover with him – something he had been given after a night of passion, and something that would make sure that he wouldn’t be left alone if the programs that were after him discovered their relationship and killed his lover.
His lover had nothing similar of him. He said he didn’t need it, and that his memories were enough. If Speed would die, he would be dead for good, and nothing would bring him back, not even a token of his love. Speed didn’t know what to make out of that declaration. In his darkest hours, he feared and suspected that it was the confession that his love wasn’t mutual.
This love was an eternal struggle, and Speed knew that he couldn’t tell anybody about it. It was the forbidden fruit, his dark secret, and it was too dangerous to tell even the most trustworthy people. By all means, he should break up this strange relationship, especially after Megan had been killed by the machines.
With the loss of Megan, Speed had become the captain of the Ptolemy, one of the few ships the rebels had. Megan had been killed because of The Traitor, Rick, when she had been in the Matrix, and only sheer luck had prevented that they lost anybody else that fateful night. Ryan had been able to stop and kill Rick before he could do more harm; his courage and determination had saved all their lives. The price he had to pay – his right eye – seemed small, compared to that.
Speed smiled softly and made his way through the ship. He stopped to watch the youngest member of his crew, sleeping peacefully in his bunk. He was dressed in the same rags they all wore, and he looked impossibly small and fragile, relaxed in his sleep, with his eyes closed and his muscles relaxed.
Ryan usually wore a patch over his eye that Eric had made for him, but not when he was sleeping, wrapped up in Eric’s strong arms and their thin blankets.
Same-sex relationships were frowned upon in Zion, the hidden city of the rebels. They always needed more people to continue the fight, and the birth of every single child was a good reason to celebrate. Their children were kept hidden deep within the core of Earth, protected by heavily armed guards, until they were considered old enough to go out and risk their lives for the city.
Carefully Speed reached out and pulled the blankets back up to Ryan’s and Eric’s shoulders. They would return to Zion soon, and then the hiding would begin again, at least for these two. Eric would probably meet with Natalia, the mother of his two children, at least if the ship she was on returned as well and if she had survived the last few months; Ryan would be miserable about it; Alexx would spend the time with her husband and her own children – and he? Speed shook his head. He already knew what he would do: He would probably visit Maxine, suffer from horrible nightmares or unbearable insomnia, and after a few days, he would feel like a tiger in a cage, barely able to await the day they would leave Zion again to go back out here, back in the Matrix.
They were a virus; they were sabotaging the Matrix. They knew no rest, no pity, because their enemies were computers, machines and programs who were ruthless in their pursuit of the rebels and who knew no rest and no pity, as well. They were struggling to stay a step ahead of the machines, and every break, every holiday, every day they didn’t spend out here the machines would get even closer to them.
They justified their, sometimes violent, attacks with the fact that machines didn’t feel – they didn’t think for themselves, they were simply programmed to act the way they did.
But Speed didn’t believe so. He knew that some of the more sophisticated programs had developed traits of personality. He once met one program that had “felt” disgust when confronted with humans, which made it perfect to work in a public library. He hadn’t known back then that the librarian was nothing more than a program, but he wasn’t surprised when he found out.
A quick check of the instruments revealed no immediate danger to the ship and its crew, and Speed went back to watch his sleeping friends.
There weren’t many left: it was just Eric, Ryan, Alex and he himself, but then, the Ptolemy was a small ship, and there wasn’t enough room for more than six people, anyways.
Speed sighed softly. He was tired, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, even if his eyes were gritty and the screens in front of them were nothing but a flickering blur.
His thoughts returned to his lover, and the risk he was taking every time when he entered the Matrix. But he needed to see his lover, again and again, or the pressure on his ribcage would become too much and suffocate him. He needed it like the air he was breathing; he craved it like a drug.
Unconsciously, his fingertips glided over the chain around his neck and to the small disc dangling from it. It was all he had from his lover. It was not enough and almost too much.
He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his temples. He needed to sleep. He needed to get laid. He needed to relax. He needed to be held. He needed pale fingers on his aching flesh.
He needed his lover.
He was tired.
A slender hand was placed on his shoulder. Speed forced a smile on his face when he looked up. Alexx had wrapped one arm around herself protectively, as if she was freezing, although it was warm in the ship. The other hand was extended to his shoulder, grounding him with its warmth.
“Honey, you need to sleep,” she said softly.
Speed grimaced. “I can’t.” Wistfully he looked over to Eric and Ryan. He would give so much to be with his lover now –
He didn’t realize he had spoken out loud until Alexx snorted. “Why don’t you go, then? I’ll watch them for you.”
He frowned at her. “What?”
She shrugged. “We know you, sweetie. I know you. Just – promise me to be careful. If you let anyone know about us and my kids get hurt…”
She didn’t need to complete the sentence. Speed smiled softly. “I know,” he said.
“Go.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
He kissed her forehead before he sat down and allowed himself to be plugged into the Matrix.
When he looked down at himself, he wasn’t wearing the rough linen clothes anymore – he was dressed in jeans and a blue shirt. It was perfect.
He gave the cute subroutine program with the long blonde hair and the friendly smile – her name was Calleigh – a smile when entering the apartment. She nodded, and he proceeded right into the bedroom, where his lover already awaited him with an unreadable smile.
It was always dangerous, Speed thought afterwards, when they were snuggled up between tangled sheets and Horatio’s strong arms were wrapped around him, and Horatio whispered “I love you” into his hair. He wanted to feel safe; he wanted to close his eyes and drift to sleep, secure in the knowledge that their love was mutual and that Horatio would protect him, but a small hard kernel of doubt always stayed: machines and programs were dangerous, you couldn’t trust them, everybody could betray him – his thoughts drifted back to Calleigh – machines and programs couldn’t be trusted, because they didn’t feel. They only did what their programming told them to do, and they were dangerous because they were programmed to betray humanity.
Horatio murmured softly and kissed him again. His lips were warm and soft, and Speed sighed and closed his eyes. He wanted to trust Horatio, because that was what a relationship was supposedly about, even if Horatio was nothing more than a program. A virus, in his own way, like the human rebels were, at least he claimed so.
And so Timothy Speedle almost desperately clung to the belief that Horatio was sophisticated enough to develop his own thoughts – and feelings.
And with these thoughts, he finally drifted to sleep.
The End.