kathierif_fic: (fandom: sga)
[personal profile] kathierif_fic
Title: We Would Be So Happy You And Me
Author: Kathie
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: Not mine. Maybe that’s a good thing.
Word Count: 4,611 words
Summary: Another off-world mission, another alien ritual – and suddenly, Rodney has tentacles and needs to mate with his mate – John.
Author’s Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] kink_bingo, for the Wildcard. The kink? It has a little bit of bruising/bitemarks, bondage (held down), tentacles, virginity, snowballing, writing on the body, and interfemoral…
Author’s Notes 2: Lots of thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nerfgunqueen and [livejournal.com profile] a2h, without their help, I’d never gotten this finished. Title is a line from The Beatles’ “Octopus’s garden.”


When they returned from yet another mission to another planet, Teyla was biting her lip and frowning, John was still blushing a dark shade of red and looked like he wanted to be everywhere but where he was right now, Ronon was quiet and looming as ever, and Rodney had Ronon’s coat wrapped tight around him and refused to drop it until he was standing in the infirmary for his post-mission check-up, and when he did, he did it hesitantly, knowing perfectly well what the first reaction would be.

“Rodney,” Jennifer said when she said him, stopping mid-step, her eyes growing wide. “You have…”

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. “Tentacles,” he supplied helpfully, an air of smugness surrounding him. “They’re actually quite. Helpful. When typing.”

He wriggled his tentacles and fingers with a small grin, and Jennifer frowned slightly. “But they’re tentacles,” she managed to say, her eyes glued in fascination to the dark, almost black appendages.

Rodney frowned. “Yeah, I know,” he replied.

At this point, Teyla chose to step in, to clear up some of the confusion between her teammate and the doctor.

“Rodney was chosen for the honor of the Bonding ceremony after he agreed to fix the Votarean’s protective shield,” she supplied with a slight tilt of her head. “It is not meant as a permanent modification of his body.”

She gave Rodney a dark glare, and Rodney folded his arms over his chest again, his tentacles wriggling wildly around him. “I’m not getting rid of them.”

“You have to,” Ronon tossed in from where he was leaning against the wall. “The Chieftain explained it to you.”

It looked as if this wasn’t the first time they were talking about this particular topic, and the way Rodney pushed his chin up defiantly told Jennifer that he would stubbornly insist on his point, and the more they would say, the less he would listen.

She chose to turn her attention away from Rodney, and gave Sheppard a brief glance. John was uncharacteristically quiet, biting his bottom lip and still looking as if he wanted to be everywhere but where he was right now.

“Are you okay, Colonel?” she asked gently and took a step toward him. John gave her a brief, tight nod.

“Yeah, I am fine,” he said before directing his glare at Rodney again.

“Look,” Rodney said and smoothed his tentacles down with a hand. “I understand that you’re pissed…”

“I’m not!” John interrupted quickly. His eyes were narrowed to thin slits, and if looks could kill, Rodney would have dropped on the spot.

“…that you’re pissed about the whole bride thing,” Rodney continued, completely disregarding John’s words, “But we don’t have to do it, all right? These are really helpful. Imagine all the work I can finish now!”

“Rodney,” Teyla started again, but before she could add another word, Rodney had turned on his heels and had left the infirmary.


It didn’t take long for the story to spread over Atlantis. Almost everybody had seen Rodney’s tentacles by now, or had heard that he had suddenly grown them, but nobody knew the reason why.

The only people knowing were the four of them, and neither of them was willing to reveal any details. Teyla just confirmed that the altered state would not be permanent and that the tentacles would fall off within a certain span of time, but she either didn’t know or wasn’t willing to reveal how long that timeframe was going to be.

It was obvious that they wouldn’t be allowed off-planet as long as this condition wasn’t solved, but Rodney didn’t exactly worry about that. There were a lot of things to be done on Atlantis, things that benefitted from the extreme agility of his tentacles. Of course he realized that people stared at him with various degrees of horror and fascination on their faces, and he also noticed that John was avoiding him, but he didn’t worry about it at first.

However, when the tentacles started to itch and send waves of sensations through Rodney’s whole body, sensations that weren’t painful, but highly distracting nonetheless, he remembered the exact words of the Chieftain who had given him the potion that had started the transformation, and with a sigh, he had to admit to himself that maybe it would have been a good idea to follow those instructions.

Of course, the problem he was facing now was that John Sheppard would never agree to be his little sex toy, even if it served a greater purpose.

Rodney frowned as his tentacles brushed down his own body, teasing a nipple through the material of his shirt before twitching away again.

Curse the Chieftain for determining that John was his mate, he thought irritably. This couldn’t go well. He just knew it.

And yet, the sensations running through his body only magnified over the next few hours, until even the brush of cool air over his over-sensitive tentacles sent a rush of blood to his cock.

He needed to find his mate and claim him.

Taking in a deep breath, he dropped the Ancient piece of technology he’d been working on and stalked out of the lab. All of his senses were overly sensitive, he realized as he walked past the mess hall, peeking inside to check if John was there.

Biting the inside of his mouth sharply, he stopped to take a shaky breath. He needed to find John and talk to him. Maybe there was a way to solve this problem without them having to go through the whole procedure the Chieftain had told him about.

He finally found John in the gym, sparring with Teyla. She only needed to look at him briefly to understand what he needed, and bowed her head to him as she grabbed her sticks and left the room.

“Rodney?” John asked quietly and shifted slightly. The smell of his fresh sweat almost drove Rodney insane with need, but he knew that he couldn’t just take what he wanted.

“John,” he managed to say, despite the bone-deep shudder running through his body. “I…we…”

He reached out to trace a fingertip over John’s pectorals, circling the nipple and tugging slightly on the sweat-drenched material of his shirt.

“What are you doing, Rodney?” John asked warily, but he didn’t try to move away from Rodney’s touch. With the help of his new, heightened sense of smell, Rodney could tell that he was slightly aroused already.

“John,” he murmured again. His tentacles twitched toward John on their own accord, and he yanked them back with a guilty twist of his stomach.

“Do you need to talk to Keller?” John asked, suddenly alarmed, but Rodney just shook his head and swallowed.

“They were right,” he admitted, his voice rough and shaking. “It’s…I only can think of you.”

John’s expression changed slightly, and he tilted his head to the side, to quickly make sure that they were alone. He was nervous, Rodney could smell, and he curled his hands in tight fists and shoved them deep into his pockets to stop himself from reaching out and just dragging him back to his room.

“Just wanted to let you know,” he said softly. “So you can.” A shrug. “You know, stay away from me.”

Something in John’s expression changed, softened, and he ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up more than it already did. “It’s okay, buddy,” he said, and the sound of his voice sent shivers down Rodney’s back. He grabbed at one of the tentacles that was worming its way over to John, but it slipped right through his sweaty grip and curled around John’s elbow.

“Sorry,” Rodney muttered and tried to lift his tentacle away from John, but it was like ripping vines from a wooden surface.

“It’s okay,” John said again, helplessly, and reached up to help Rodney unwrapping the tentacle. The sensation of his calloused fingers on the sensitive flesh was like a shock to Rodney’s system.

He was going fast, and he knew it.

“What,” John started and licked his lips nervously. “What do you need me to do?”

Rodney screwed his eyes tightly shut. “I need…I need you,” he simply said. “The Chieftain said you’re my mate – so we need to mate.”

His eyes were still closed, so he didn’t see John swallow, but he could hear it. “Um, Rodney.”

“It doesn’t have to be penetrative sex, although that would be nice, because your ass… makes me hard just thinking about it,” Rodney admitted in a flurry of words and twitchy moves of his tentacles. “Just…make you come and you make me come and the ritual thing and these should fall off and then everything is normal, or well, as normal as things are around here, and you can go back to ignoring me if you want…”

He would have babbled on if John hadn’t closed the space between them and had pressed his lips firmly against his. They were dry and slightly rough, and Rodney moaned at the white hot arousal racing sharply through his body. His tentacles sprung to life, wrapping tightly around John’s body and pulling him even closer, until he could feel the dampness of his shirt against himself, feel John’s rapid heartbeat and his body heat.

He rubbed his nose against the soft skin underneath John’s ear while his hands were running over his back anxiously. “I thought I could control it, but I can’t think anymore, can only think of you,” he murmured into John’s warm skin.

John chuckled and rubbed his back firmly. “It’s okay,” he said a third time. “I’m still not taking a bath with you, you know.”

Rodney laughed; a desperate and weak laugh that sounded hollow to his own ears. “You would enjoy it. I would make sure you’d enjoy yourself.”

John tensed in his embrace, and Rodney took deep gulps of John-scented air while fighting the instinct to run his hands down, to John’s ass, to rip off his sweatpants and throw him down right here, on the mats.

“Rodney,” John murmured, struggling to free his arm from the tentacles. “Listen, about that…”
He squirmed a little. “It’s not something I have a lot of experience with,” he finally said carefully.

Rodney frowned. “What, tentacled sex?” he asked back.

John squirmed more. “Yeah, that.”

“You think I do?” Rodney asked back and batted at the tentacle that was slowly creeping over John’s shoulder and wrapping around his neck. He knew perfectly well that this tentacle would want to press down until John’s knees buckled and he went down, to get his mouth on the perfect level to suck Rodney’s cock, which was hard and aching within the constriction of his underwear and pants.

“No, not that,” John hissed. He was blushing a bright shade of red again, the blood blossoming high into his cheekbones. It looked good, Rodney thought absent-mindedly until the words actually filtered through the red-white haze of arousal that covered every thought and his brain had a chance to process them.

“Wait, what,” he spluttered, pulling slightly back to stare at John’s face. “You never had sex?”

John glared at him. “Of course I did,” he hissed back sharply. “But not like this!”

Rodney stared at him for a moment longer. “You’re afraid,” he realized.

“Am not!”

The reply came too fast, he thought haphazardly, and the muscles in John’s jaw jumped and worked as he clenched his teeth. He had been right. John was scared of something.

“Don’t worry,” he said and clumsily reached up to brush his fingertips along a narrow cheekbone. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, okay? Stay away from your ass and everything.”

It had been a wild guess, but the way John’s shoulders relaxed again under his tentacles told him that he’d been right.


He licked his lips slightly. “Can I…kiss you?” he asked hopefully when John didn’t say anything, and John nodded and tilted his head to the side invitingly.

The kiss started slow, but Rodney couldn’t keep the tight control he had on himself for much longer. He groaned as his tentacles yanked John close again and John’s hand laced through the soft hair at the back of his skull, opened his mouth and let his tongue slip out and across the seam of John’s lips, again and again until he relaxed and allowed him to lick into his mouth, his tongue raspy against his when they tangled.

Finally, John pulled back. His lips were shiny with spit and reddened, and he lowered his head slightly as he let his own tongue run over them, moistening them and chasing the taste of Rodney clinging to them.

“Not here,” he murmured. His voice was rough, and Rodney could feel his cock pressing against his thigh. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”

He nodded. “My room,” he suggested and took a step back. The tentacles loosened their grip on John only slowly, leaving red marks where they had touched bare skin. John looked down at his forearm and touched the forming bruise there briefly with a weird expression on his face that Rodney couldn’t read.

“You coming?” he asked impatiently, his hands once more balled into tight fists. He needed to control himself only a little longer, and then he could have John, feel his hard body pressing against Rodney as he wrapped hands and tentacles around him, completing the ritual that would help him get rid of the tentacles and the overwhelming need that engulfed his every thought.

John gave him a tight smirk. “Not yet,” he replied as he gathered his stuff and waved at Rodney to lead the way. “But I think I will be soon.”

“Haha,” Rodney grumbled and gave him a quick glance from the side. John looked calm on the outside, relaxed and confident, but Rodney could see past that outer layer.

Sheppard was as nervous as a cat in a room filled with rocking chairs.

And Rodney still hadn’t told him the details of the ritual he needed to go through, if the words of the Chieftain were to be believed.

One thing after the other, he decided as they stepped into the transporter, the first parts of a plan already forming in his mind.


Rodney was pressed against John again even before the door was completely closed behind them. His hands mapped his chest while his mouth sought out John’s, and the tentacles brushed over John’s body and sent little shocks through both of them. One of his thighs slid in between John’s legs while the tentacles pulled him against it, and he was only vaguely aware of John’s hands on his shoulders and the soothing words John managed to say in between kisses.

Rodney took a deep breath once more and slowed his movements slightly. “I need you,” he moaned, the admission hanging in the room between them, like a soap bubble. “Please, John?”

“Yeah,” John said, “Okay. I’m here. Just relax, buddy, okay?”

“Okay,” Rodney replied and pushed John’s t-shirt up. The skin of his stomach was soft under the layer of coarse hair covering it, and John sucked in the air through his teeth when Rodney’s tentacles ran over his stomach and up to his chest.

“Let me take care of you,” Rodney murmured, only belatedly realizing that it were the words the Chieftain had told him to use to start the rituals. It didn’t matter anyways. He had John here, and that was all that he could concentrate on.

John’s fingers splayed over the small of his back, tugging slightly on his shirt, and Rodney used both hands to brush John’s black sweaty t-shirt up and tug it over his head.

John shivered slightly, but he let Rodney run his hands, tentacles and tongue over his chest, lick at the moist skin and tease his nipples into hard little points. “John,” Rodney breathed against his navel, his fingers working on pulling down John’s pants. He looked up at John with wide, impossibly blue eyes, his mouth opened slightly as he breathed in John’s smell deeply.

“Yeah,” John replied. His hand tangled in Rodney’s hair again, guiding him against the skin of his stomach and rubbing the soft strands between his fingers. His other hand reached out and grabbed a tentacle, running over the surprisingly warm and dry skin and caressing it like he would his own dick.

Rodney moaned, a broken sound that made John swallow and that caused his cock to fill slowly. He still wasn’t hard, still unsure about how this would happen, but he couldn’t deny that the tentacle that sneaked past his waistband to wrap around his cock and the one teasing his nipple slightly were feeling really good.

One tentacle reached for his wrist again, squeezing and leaving more bruises, and Rodney breathed hot and moist against his stomach while he tugged down John’s pants. Another pair of tentacles already had unknotted the laces of his shoes, but John didn’t have time to admire the dexterity. He was far too distracted by the arousal starting to fill him.

“We should move this to the bed,” Rodney murmured and bit slightly at one of John’s hipbones, leaving another mark on his skin. John nodded and took a small step towards the bed.

“Good idea,” he agreed breathlessly.

“I am the smartest man in two galaxies,” Rodney replied and gave him a little push that made him stumble back onto the mattress. “I told you that.”

“Yeah, Rodney, you did,” John said with an amused eyeroll. “So. Um. How do you want to do this?”

Rodney stopped in the process of stripping down to give him a hungry look. “I want you on your stomach,” he finally said. “Put a pillow under your hips.”

John found himself tensing. “Rodney,” he said warningly, and Rodney rolled his eyes and kicked one of his shoes under his desk.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I told you, nothing you don’t want. Your ass is safe from me.”

John looked like he wanted to say something, but Rodney didn’t wait for it. He crawled onto the bed, one of his knees brushing against John’s hip, and leaned over him to kiss him again.

Getting kissed by Rodney was something he could get used to, John thought quietly while letting the other man’s tongue swipe through his mouth. Getting naked and getting kissed by Rodney was another thing he wasn’t too bothered about. And when Rodney’s tentacles ran over his back and sides, he released the breath he’d been holding with a soft shuddering moan.

“Like that,” Rodney whispered. He shifted and straddled John’s thighs, his cock, hard, wet at the tip and hot, brushing against John’s skin. John’s muscles twitched slightly, and Rodney let his tentacles run over his back again.

“John,” he moaned. “Let me…”

He pressed a kiss to the small of John’s back and licked down, over one tensing buttock and downwards, where thigh met ass. “Spread your legs a bit, will you?” he murmured. “Just a bit.”

John frowned, but he did what he was asked. Rodney mouthed at his shoulder blade, probably sucking another bruise into existence, and wrapped one hand around his erection. His balls were tight already, and he was desperate for relief.

He pushed his dick in between John’s thighs, leaving slick trails of pre-come clinging to his thighs. “Now push them together again,” he instructed, holding himself half up on one elbow. “Like that.”

He tapped the side of John’s leg slightly, making him press his thighs together tightly. “What do you say?” he asked and experimentally pushed down. His cock slid over dry skin, leaving more pre-come, and he bit his lip sharply against the moan that threatened to spill from his lips. His tentacles wrapped themselves around John, teasing his skin slightly while heightening the pleasure for Rodney as well.

“Good,” John said shakily. He turned his head to the side and took a deep breath. “Go for it.”

Rodney kissed his back again and pushed his hips down once more. The friction was almost unbearable, and he briefly considered getting up to get some kind of lubricant, but he was already too far gone to care. The space between John’s thighs grew slick with Rodney’s pre-come, making it easier for him to slip and slide into it, and he groaned as his tentacles tightened together with all his other muscles and orgasm overwhelmed him.

The second he reached completion, inspiration stuck, and he desperately tried to hold on to his thoughts while his body shuddered and his mind started to fade out at the edges.

“Rodney?” John asked and turned his head.

Rodney groaned and fumbled for something to write on his bedside table. The only thing he found was a pen, but no paper, and his computer, he knew, was back at the lab, and the second laptop on his desk, which was too far away.

“Hold still,” he ordered and started to scribble formulas across John’s back. The pen slipped on his sweaty skin, but it didn’t give out, and Rodney smirked in satisfaction as he finished it. His tentacles were still stroking John gently, and when he tossed the pen back on the table and stretched out next to John, John gave him an amused lift of his eyebrows.

“I hope you wrote something romantic,” he said dryly, and Rodney opened his mouth to reply indignantly, but thought better of it.

“Yeah,” he said and leaned forwards for another kiss. “It’s an idea how to increase the efficiency of our shields, to save your ass the next time the Replicators or the Wraith attack.”

One of his tentacles slipped over said ass and then in between John’s legs, to brush against his balls and tease his cock slightly. John bit his lip to stop himself from whimpering, and Rodney repeated the move with another tentacle.

“That,” John said, his voice hoarse, even if he hadn’t talked that much, “Was not bad.”

“I told you your ass is safe,” Rodney grumbled. Now that he’d come, part of the desperate need had disappeared, but he knew that it would return soon. The Chieftain had told him as much.

John gave him a glare. “Not what I meant.”

“The writing part?” Rodney asked, surprised. “It turns you on?”

John shrugged. He was blushing again, even if it was just faintly. “It wasn’t bad,” he repeated. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Rodney stared at him for a second. “Wait, it didn’t make you come, did it?” he asked, suddenly alarmed.

John squirmed and pushed himself into the tentacles still wrapped around the base of his cock. “No,” he admitted. “But it still felt nice.”

“Oh.” Rodney ran his fingertip over John’s back. The marker he’d used was water-proof, and it would take John some scrubbing to get it off again. Rodney’s precious formulas would not disappear if he rolled John onto his back now and sucked him off.

He smirked slightly and pulled his tentacles away from John’s body. “Roll over,” he ordered and tugged slightly at John’s hip. A dark bruise was forming on the skin there, and Rodney felt a shiver run down his spine at the sight.

John rolled over on his back and opened his mouth, but before he could say a single word, Rodney’s mouth, wet and tight and hot, was wrapped around the head of his dick, his tongue running over it while three of the tentacles slowly wrapped themselves around his length, squeezing rhythmically. John’s hands found his hair again, and Rodney used his tentacles to wrap around his wrists and press John’s hands down into the mattress next to him.

It didn’t take him long to make John’s hips snap up. The salty taste of come flooded his mouth, and he had to take deep breaths through his nose to stop himself from gagging.

He crawled up John’s body, marveling at the level of relaxation the other man had reached with his orgasm. John gave him a half-lidded glance and a slow smile, and Rodney ran his hands over his face, tilting his head just the way he wanted him and pressed their lips together.

John gave a startled gasp, and Rodney used the chance to slip his tongue back into John’s mouth, sharing the taste of his own come, mixed with Rodney’s saliva, with him.

This, the Chieftain had explained to him, was the vital part of the Bonding ceremony. The circle needed to be closed or something like that. If he was honest, he’d regarded it as a pile of voodoo superstitions and had completely disregarded everything the Chieftain had told him, until he’d woken up the next morning with tentacles.

Tentacles that were still pinning John’s wrists down and sliding down his chest and stomach while John’s own come slowly ran back from Rodney’s mouth into John’s.

John made a sound of protest deep in his throat and tried to pull away, but Rodney had him pinned. The tentacles were still running over his body and stroking him gently.

He didn’t know how much time had passed and how much of his own come had run down his throat and been swallowed by him accidentally when Rodney finally pulled away.

“What the –“ John started, and Rodney shrugged.

“That was the last part of the ritual,” he said and wiped his fingers over John’s chin. “Sorry about that.”

John stared at him from narrowed eyes for a moment longer, but Rodney didn’t even notice. He was already up and grabbing his laptop from his desk.

“Turn around again, will you?” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “Before I let you take a shower.”

John laughed loudly, obviously having forgiven Rodney for the unexpected attack, and rolled back onto his stomach. He was quiet for a moment while Rodney copied what he’d written on his back onto his laptop.

“You know,” he finally said conversationally, “I’m still annoyed that you introduced me to the Chieftain as your bride.”

Rodney snorted. “What,” he replied, typing a few more lines. “I didn’t want to get one of these guys as mate. Who knows what kind of STDs I could get from those. Not everybody around here is an intergalactic playboy.”

“Still,” John mumbled. He understood Rodney’s reasoning, and he was feeling pleasantly exhausted, enough to mellow him out and be willing to forget about what had happened between them.

“I’d rather have you,” Rodney said. One of his tentacles brushed over the back of John’s knee. “I trust you.”

“Hm.” John shifted slightly, the muscles playing under his skin. “So, how long until these fall off?”

Rodney shrugged and put his laptop down. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Not long, probably.”

He stretched out alongside John, their sides brushing against each other. They probably should take a shower and get cleaned up, he thought, but it could wait another five minutes while he was lying here and enjoying the close proximity to his best friend.

His mate.

His lips twitched into a smile.

“Hey, Rodney?” John asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them once more.


“Next time we’re on Earth?”

“What about it?”

“We should have Calamari. I know just the place.”

“Ha, ha,” Rodney replied, his tentacles curling around John and poking him in the side. “That is not funny.”

John laughed and captured one tentacle in his hand, squeezing gently, and the warmth in Rodney’s chest spread throughout his whole body.

Life was good.

Tentacles or not.



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June 2013

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