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kathierif_ficTitle: A Piece of String
by: kathierif_fic
Fandom: MCU // Avengers // Captain America
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes (platonic), OT6 (platonic)
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: This is a transformative fanwork. No profit is being made.
Summary: It's just a cheap piece of string, but it's so much more.
A/Ns: for kink_bingo, prompt "collar". 2043 words.
It's not much more than a piece of string. It isn't even the most expensive piece of string, and it chafes roughly against Steve's throat, but it's the best someone like him can hope for and he knows it.
Even more, it's everything he's ever wanted - it's a collar, a clear sign that someone wants him, despite the asthma and the twitching in his limbs he can't quite suppress sometimes, result from his bouts of fever. It means someone cares about him, Steven Rogers, enough to want to keep him around.
It means that someone thinks he's worth it, and that gives him the strength to keep going on, trying to join the army when every doctor he faces takes one good look at him and shakes his head.
Steve doesn't care about all that. Not as long as he has the collar, and not as long as he has Bucky.
Bucky has been Steve's friend for as long as he can remember, and he will be Steve's friend until the end of time. The collar is his, and Steve keeps it wrapped around his neck when Bucky ships out to join the war.
It is a tangible reminder that he means something to someone, to Bucky. Bucky, who believes in him and who treats him right; Bucky who gave him a collar to remind him that he belongs to him, even if Bucky prefers women.
He loves Steve, and Steve loves him. Nothing changes that.
~*+*~
The piece of string is fraying around the edges, but Steve only takes it off when he has to or risk it getting cut off him. He knows Bucky would probably laugh if he could see him, make gentle fun of him and then pull him close, one arm wrapped around Steve's shoulders and his lips briefly brushing against Steve's temple, but Bucky could never know what this means to Steve.
He wears the string around his neck when he marches into enemy territory to find Bucky, and he wears it when he frees his friend and the rest of the prisoners.
~*+*~
Fingers brush over the nape of his neck and tangle in the string. Bucky tugs slightly, not enough to cut off Steve's air, just to get Steve's attention.
"You shouldn't have kept that," Bucky says and slides a glass over the polished wooden surface of the table. "You deserve better."
But for Steve, there is nothing better than this, the proof that he belongs to someone, to Bucky, who is, after all, his best friend and the most important person in his life.
"You should ask Agent Carter," Bucky continues and wraggles his eyebrows. "I'm sure she would love to give you a good solid collar."
The thought of smooth, supple leather around his throat makes Steve's mouth go dry and his heart pick up its rhythm, but the truth is,
"I don't want her collar," he says and ducks his head. "I've got yours."
Bucky looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "Steve," he says, his voice serious and his hands warm and sure where he wraps them around Steve's wrists. Back then, when he had originally tied the collar around Steve's neck and had declared him his, he'd been able to wrap his hands around Steve's wrists and easily touch his fingertips together. He can't do that with Steve's new, strong body.
"Steve," he says again. "Promise me something."
Steve looks at him, eyes wide and trusting, and Bucky stares back for a long moment before shaking his head. "I want you to...when you feel like it's time. When you find someone who can really take care of you. Someone who's worth it. Someone you can trust with this. I want you to take the chance, okay?"
Steve still looks at him. "Sure, Bucky, I promise," he says before grinning. "But I already did."
Bucky stares at him for a moment before he realizes what Steve really means, and then, he wraps his arm around Steve's shoulder - he still isn't used to the fact that he has to reach up now, not down, and probably never will - and pulls him close, breathes in his scent for a long moment and murmurs, fondly, "Punk."
~*+*~
Bucky keeps pushing him away, and Steve is unsure about why and to what purpose. He keeps flirting with every available woman and makes sure to encourage Steve to ask Agent Carter out. He still tries to look out for him, Steve thinks, but for some reason, Bucky feels that he can't be what Steve needs him to be.
It's stupid - Bucky has always been what Steve needs, and he will always be what Steve wants, too. Peggy Carter is nice and Steve respects her, but he doesn't feel the same for her as he does for Bucky.
Still, he tries to respect his decision and he takes the string off.
He doesn't like it. It feels naked, as if he's forgotten to put on a crucial part of his uniform, and he can't help but rise a hand to this throat every so often to feel for the string that isn't there anymore.
He wants to put it back on, but the look of relief on Bucky's face when he catches sight of Steve's bare throat stops him.
He doesn't know what to do.
And then, Bucky falls.
~*+*~
Peggy tries, but she can't console him. She doesn't really understand the relationship between the two of them, doesn't know that Steve lost more than his best friend, and she doesn't know why Steve keeps wrapping an old, dirty piece of string around his fingers, his wrist, his throat, like a talisman or a cross. She doesn't understand it, and Steve doesn't try to explain it.
Instead, he sews the string into the collar of his Captain America-uniform.
It's there, a familiar and soothing rasp against the back of his neck, when he goes down with the plane.
~*+*~
The first thing he notices when he wakes up is that his collar is gone. The rest filters in slowly, piece by piece and information by information.
At the end of the day, he's alone in a new time, and nothing around him is familiar. He asks about his shield and his old uniform and he gets neither of them.
Adjusting to life in the twenty-first century is hard, but Steve manages somehow. He gets used to the technology pretty fast, and the people didn't really change all that much. Getting used to civilian life is a lot harder than he ever imagined it to be, and most nights, he wakes up from a nightmare and claws at his throat, searching for something that is long gone.
He can't make himself stop.
He misses it, the security of knowing that someone will be there for him, come hell or high water, and no matter how much time passes, he doesn't stop missing it.
Steve moves into Avengers Tower with the rest of his team, and he gets close to Tony Stark. Tony is, despite the first impression he left, a good man and an even better friend.
It's a wednesday night, and Steve finds himself awake again, unable to go back to sleep after fighting his way out of a fresh nightmare. He gets up and gets dressed instead, the vague plan of going to the gym forming at the back of his mind.
At the last second, he reconsiders. Instead of going to the lower level which serves as gym, he takes the elevator up to the penthouse, after double-checking with Jarvis that Tony is awake.
He finds Tony sprawled on the couch and takes a seat next to him, close enough to touch, to feel Tony's solid warmth next to him and smell the alcohol on his breath.
They sit in silence for a long time, and then, Tony starts to talk, about the cell phone he's designing right now, about Pepper, about hot dogs, and then, when his voice is starting to get scratchy, about getting a car battery shoved into his chest.
When Tony falls silent, it's Steve's turn.
He doesn't know why, but he tells him about Bucky, about their youth, the adventures with the Howling Commandoes, and, he doesn't know why, he tells him about the collar.
While he's speaking, he feels as if he should stop himself. Tony won't understand, just like Peggy didn't understand, and he will mock Steve mercilessly, probably in front of the entire Avengers-team.
And yet, he can't stop himself. He tells Tony everything - Bucky's attempts to set him up with women, especially Peggy, how Bucky loved to take dames dancing and Steve could only watch, how Steve could grin about Bucky seducing his way through Brooklyn as long as Bucky's collar was safe and secure around his own neck.
Tony doesn't interrupt him even once.
~*+*~
"Hey," Tony says and shifts from one foot to the other. He's fiddling with something in his hands, and he looks more uncomfortable than Steve has ever seen him.
He puts his sketch pad down and raises both eyebrows expectantly.
"So, I was thinking," Tony says and finally steps into the room. "About what you said. About Bucky."
Steve starts to frown. This is what he'd expected, he thinks, his heart clenching painfully. This is Tony setting out to make fun of him, of mocking everything about Bucky that was near and dear to Steve.
"So?" he simply says. He's struggling to keep calm, but Tony doesn't even notice. He starts pacing, five steps in one direction, then five steps in the other direction, and he is still fiddling with the something he's holding in his hand.
"It's obviously not about sex," Tony says. "Because you didn't mind him hooking up with other women. Dames."
"What?" Steve asks.
"So I talked to Pepper, and this was her idea, well, mostly mine but hers too, and we thought..." Tony stops himself and licks his lips nervously.
"Yes?" Steve prompts.
Tony abruptly stretches out his hand, and then, he lets something drop into Steve's lap.
It's a chain, delicately wrought, made of different materials.
Steve doesn't understand. His frown deepens.
"We want you," Tony says. "We, the team. The Avengers. You know. We wouldn't be Earth's Mightiest Heroes without you, Cap. You belong with us. To us."
Steve looks down at the chain, inspects it more closely. He easily recognizes the red-and-gold color scheme of some of the pieces, but that's about it.
"I don't..." he starts, unsure, and Tony smirks and nudges him.
"It's not string," he says softly. "But it's something from each of us. A tip of Clint's arrow. Scrap metal from the Iron Man. A melted-down bullet from Natasha, some of the polymer Bruce's developing, and some fabric from Thor. I don't know, he says it never breaks. Personally, I think he just ripped the hem off of his cape."
Steve looks down at the chain again, brushes his fingertips along it. The edges are all smooth, the fabric of Bruce's polymer and Thor's cape skillfully interwoven with the metal.
"This," Tony says, "is our way of saying we want you. We love you, even. We couldn't do this without you, and we want you to know how much you mean to us."
He's sincere, Steve knows, the unsure expression in Tony's face a clear sign of it. Tony doesn't deal well with emotions and prefers to hide behind a mask of scathing sarcasm, but he's here now, for Steve, and he's doing his best.
Warmth fills Steve's chest, and he smiles softly. He thinks he now knows what Bucky meant when he said that Steve should take the chance when someone offered it, that Bucky gave him, indirectly, this when he told Steve to look for something better.
He holds the chain up. "Put it on?" he asks, and Tony grins widely as he settles the slight weight of the chain around Steve's neck.
It's not a piece of string, but it has the same message, and Steve smiles and reaches up, to feel the chain under his fingertips and against his neck.
It feels a little like coming home.
by: kathierif_fic
Fandom: MCU // Avengers // Captain America
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes (platonic), OT6 (platonic)
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: This is a transformative fanwork. No profit is being made.
Summary: It's just a cheap piece of string, but it's so much more.
A/Ns: for kink_bingo, prompt "collar". 2043 words.
It's not much more than a piece of string. It isn't even the most expensive piece of string, and it chafes roughly against Steve's throat, but it's the best someone like him can hope for and he knows it.
Even more, it's everything he's ever wanted - it's a collar, a clear sign that someone wants him, despite the asthma and the twitching in his limbs he can't quite suppress sometimes, result from his bouts of fever. It means someone cares about him, Steven Rogers, enough to want to keep him around.
It means that someone thinks he's worth it, and that gives him the strength to keep going on, trying to join the army when every doctor he faces takes one good look at him and shakes his head.
Steve doesn't care about all that. Not as long as he has the collar, and not as long as he has Bucky.
Bucky has been Steve's friend for as long as he can remember, and he will be Steve's friend until the end of time. The collar is his, and Steve keeps it wrapped around his neck when Bucky ships out to join the war.
It is a tangible reminder that he means something to someone, to Bucky. Bucky, who believes in him and who treats him right; Bucky who gave him a collar to remind him that he belongs to him, even if Bucky prefers women.
He loves Steve, and Steve loves him. Nothing changes that.
~*+*~
The piece of string is fraying around the edges, but Steve only takes it off when he has to or risk it getting cut off him. He knows Bucky would probably laugh if he could see him, make gentle fun of him and then pull him close, one arm wrapped around Steve's shoulders and his lips briefly brushing against Steve's temple, but Bucky could never know what this means to Steve.
He wears the string around his neck when he marches into enemy territory to find Bucky, and he wears it when he frees his friend and the rest of the prisoners.
~*+*~
Fingers brush over the nape of his neck and tangle in the string. Bucky tugs slightly, not enough to cut off Steve's air, just to get Steve's attention.
"You shouldn't have kept that," Bucky says and slides a glass over the polished wooden surface of the table. "You deserve better."
But for Steve, there is nothing better than this, the proof that he belongs to someone, to Bucky, who is, after all, his best friend and the most important person in his life.
"You should ask Agent Carter," Bucky continues and wraggles his eyebrows. "I'm sure she would love to give you a good solid collar."
The thought of smooth, supple leather around his throat makes Steve's mouth go dry and his heart pick up its rhythm, but the truth is,
"I don't want her collar," he says and ducks his head. "I've got yours."
Bucky looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "Steve," he says, his voice serious and his hands warm and sure where he wraps them around Steve's wrists. Back then, when he had originally tied the collar around Steve's neck and had declared him his, he'd been able to wrap his hands around Steve's wrists and easily touch his fingertips together. He can't do that with Steve's new, strong body.
"Steve," he says again. "Promise me something."
Steve looks at him, eyes wide and trusting, and Bucky stares back for a long moment before shaking his head. "I want you to...when you feel like it's time. When you find someone who can really take care of you. Someone who's worth it. Someone you can trust with this. I want you to take the chance, okay?"
Steve still looks at him. "Sure, Bucky, I promise," he says before grinning. "But I already did."
Bucky stares at him for a moment before he realizes what Steve really means, and then, he wraps his arm around Steve's shoulder - he still isn't used to the fact that he has to reach up now, not down, and probably never will - and pulls him close, breathes in his scent for a long moment and murmurs, fondly, "Punk."
~*+*~
Bucky keeps pushing him away, and Steve is unsure about why and to what purpose. He keeps flirting with every available woman and makes sure to encourage Steve to ask Agent Carter out. He still tries to look out for him, Steve thinks, but for some reason, Bucky feels that he can't be what Steve needs him to be.
It's stupid - Bucky has always been what Steve needs, and he will always be what Steve wants, too. Peggy Carter is nice and Steve respects her, but he doesn't feel the same for her as he does for Bucky.
Still, he tries to respect his decision and he takes the string off.
He doesn't like it. It feels naked, as if he's forgotten to put on a crucial part of his uniform, and he can't help but rise a hand to this throat every so often to feel for the string that isn't there anymore.
He wants to put it back on, but the look of relief on Bucky's face when he catches sight of Steve's bare throat stops him.
He doesn't know what to do.
And then, Bucky falls.
~*+*~
Peggy tries, but she can't console him. She doesn't really understand the relationship between the two of them, doesn't know that Steve lost more than his best friend, and she doesn't know why Steve keeps wrapping an old, dirty piece of string around his fingers, his wrist, his throat, like a talisman or a cross. She doesn't understand it, and Steve doesn't try to explain it.
Instead, he sews the string into the collar of his Captain America-uniform.
It's there, a familiar and soothing rasp against the back of his neck, when he goes down with the plane.
~*+*~
The first thing he notices when he wakes up is that his collar is gone. The rest filters in slowly, piece by piece and information by information.
At the end of the day, he's alone in a new time, and nothing around him is familiar. He asks about his shield and his old uniform and he gets neither of them.
Adjusting to life in the twenty-first century is hard, but Steve manages somehow. He gets used to the technology pretty fast, and the people didn't really change all that much. Getting used to civilian life is a lot harder than he ever imagined it to be, and most nights, he wakes up from a nightmare and claws at his throat, searching for something that is long gone.
He can't make himself stop.
He misses it, the security of knowing that someone will be there for him, come hell or high water, and no matter how much time passes, he doesn't stop missing it.
Steve moves into Avengers Tower with the rest of his team, and he gets close to Tony Stark. Tony is, despite the first impression he left, a good man and an even better friend.
It's a wednesday night, and Steve finds himself awake again, unable to go back to sleep after fighting his way out of a fresh nightmare. He gets up and gets dressed instead, the vague plan of going to the gym forming at the back of his mind.
At the last second, he reconsiders. Instead of going to the lower level which serves as gym, he takes the elevator up to the penthouse, after double-checking with Jarvis that Tony is awake.
He finds Tony sprawled on the couch and takes a seat next to him, close enough to touch, to feel Tony's solid warmth next to him and smell the alcohol on his breath.
They sit in silence for a long time, and then, Tony starts to talk, about the cell phone he's designing right now, about Pepper, about hot dogs, and then, when his voice is starting to get scratchy, about getting a car battery shoved into his chest.
When Tony falls silent, it's Steve's turn.
He doesn't know why, but he tells him about Bucky, about their youth, the adventures with the Howling Commandoes, and, he doesn't know why, he tells him about the collar.
While he's speaking, he feels as if he should stop himself. Tony won't understand, just like Peggy didn't understand, and he will mock Steve mercilessly, probably in front of the entire Avengers-team.
And yet, he can't stop himself. He tells Tony everything - Bucky's attempts to set him up with women, especially Peggy, how Bucky loved to take dames dancing and Steve could only watch, how Steve could grin about Bucky seducing his way through Brooklyn as long as Bucky's collar was safe and secure around his own neck.
Tony doesn't interrupt him even once.
~*+*~
"Hey," Tony says and shifts from one foot to the other. He's fiddling with something in his hands, and he looks more uncomfortable than Steve has ever seen him.
He puts his sketch pad down and raises both eyebrows expectantly.
"So, I was thinking," Tony says and finally steps into the room. "About what you said. About Bucky."
Steve starts to frown. This is what he'd expected, he thinks, his heart clenching painfully. This is Tony setting out to make fun of him, of mocking everything about Bucky that was near and dear to Steve.
"So?" he simply says. He's struggling to keep calm, but Tony doesn't even notice. He starts pacing, five steps in one direction, then five steps in the other direction, and he is still fiddling with the something he's holding in his hand.
"It's obviously not about sex," Tony says. "Because you didn't mind him hooking up with other women. Dames."
"What?" Steve asks.
"So I talked to Pepper, and this was her idea, well, mostly mine but hers too, and we thought..." Tony stops himself and licks his lips nervously.
"Yes?" Steve prompts.
Tony abruptly stretches out his hand, and then, he lets something drop into Steve's lap.
It's a chain, delicately wrought, made of different materials.
Steve doesn't understand. His frown deepens.
"We want you," Tony says. "We, the team. The Avengers. You know. We wouldn't be Earth's Mightiest Heroes without you, Cap. You belong with us. To us."
Steve looks down at the chain, inspects it more closely. He easily recognizes the red-and-gold color scheme of some of the pieces, but that's about it.
"I don't..." he starts, unsure, and Tony smirks and nudges him.
"It's not string," he says softly. "But it's something from each of us. A tip of Clint's arrow. Scrap metal from the Iron Man. A melted-down bullet from Natasha, some of the polymer Bruce's developing, and some fabric from Thor. I don't know, he says it never breaks. Personally, I think he just ripped the hem off of his cape."
Steve looks down at the chain again, brushes his fingertips along it. The edges are all smooth, the fabric of Bruce's polymer and Thor's cape skillfully interwoven with the metal.
"This," Tony says, "is our way of saying we want you. We love you, even. We couldn't do this without you, and we want you to know how much you mean to us."
He's sincere, Steve knows, the unsure expression in Tony's face a clear sign of it. Tony doesn't deal well with emotions and prefers to hide behind a mask of scathing sarcasm, but he's here now, for Steve, and he's doing his best.
Warmth fills Steve's chest, and he smiles softly. He thinks he now knows what Bucky meant when he said that Steve should take the chance when someone offered it, that Bucky gave him, indirectly, this when he told Steve to look for something better.
He holds the chain up. "Put it on?" he asks, and Tony grins widely as he settles the slight weight of the chain around Steve's neck.
It's not a piece of string, but it has the same message, and Steve smiles and reaches up, to feel the chain under his fingertips and against his neck.
It feels a little like coming home.